[00:00:00] The loneliness is real, and it doesn't just go away because you hit a revenue goal or because your business is successful. It's part of this journey, and I think that we need to talk about it more.

Hey friend, welcome back to In the EllaMents. I'm Alishia Egenhoff, digital ad strategist mentor and the heart behind Social EllaMents Marketing. Around here, we talk about marketing motherhood and what it really looks like to build a business while also being a human with limited time, energy, and capacity.

Can we talk about something nobody really admits? Entrepreneurship is lonely. Really lonely. Especially if you're a work-from-home solopreneur like me. You're making all the decisions alone. You are celebrating wins alone. You're problem-solving alone. [00:01:00] And it's exhausting. But I also think most of us went into business thinking we'd have this freedom and flexibility, and we absolutely do. But what nobody tells you is that that freedom it comes with isolation. You don't have coworkers to bounce ideas off. You don't have a team to share the load. It's just you. And somewhere along the way we also picked up this idea that other people doing what we do are competition. That we need to protect our space, guard our secrets, keep our distance. But that just makes the loneliness worse, actually.

So today I want to talk about why I think entrepreneurship feels so isolating. Why we default to seeing other businesses as threats, and what happened when I decided to do the opposite and actually collaborate with people in my space. I have worked with other marketing professionals. I've [00:02:00] built real friendships with people who could technically be my competition, and it's changed everything, not just for my business but for me as a person. So if you've been feeling alone in this way, I want you to know that you're not the only one and there is a better way.

I don't think that I really felt the loneliness until about year two of being in business. When I first started, I was actually working with a mentor, and I had a cohort of other people building similar businesses, so I wasn't alone technically yet. But once that program ended and I was fully, like, on my own, it just kinda hit me. Most days I'm making big decisions, big important decisions, not just for me but also for my clients. And if I make the wrong call, it falls on me. Nobody else, just me. And that is intimidating. I honestly still have days where I question myself, where that imposter [00:03:00] syndrome kicks in hard. Like, "Who am I to be making these kinds of decisions?" Who am I to be speaking as an expert on this topic? I don't have experience owning any other type of business, just this solopreneur journey. I do have experience working in leadership at a corporation, though. And I'll be honest with you being a solopreneur is way harder than that previous position of leadership. That's just my opinion, but it's true for me.

This is probably the scariest thing I've ever done. It has been the most rewarding career I've ever had, but for sure the scariest. And I still have days, even four years in, where I question if I really want to do this. And then I remember all the heartache I went through in corporate, the feeling of having no control, the effort and energy that I poured into building someone else's business, only for it to all be gone when I lost my job. So if you haven't heard that story, go back and listen to [00:04:00] episode one where I talk about my journey to entrepreneurship. But my point is, the loneliness is real, and it doesn't just go away because you hit a revenue goal or because your business is successful. It's part of this journey, and I think that we need to talk about it more.

I think from a young age we were taught to see other people as competition. Think about it, fighting to make the sports team, competing for grades, climbing the corporate ladder. Whether we realized it or not, we were competing for space in this world. And when you start a business, that mindset just doesn't disappear. I have worked for several companies that saw every competitor as the enemy, and I bought into that for a while. But my last corporate job really made me question if that was the right approach, especially in marketing.

Marketing is so broad. There are so many different skills that other marketers bring to the table. [00:05:00] I can't do what some people do, and they don't want to do what I do. But we all make each other better. We all bring some sort of value. So when I started my business, I knew that as much as my mind and body wanted to fear competition, it was more valuable for me to collaborate than to shut people out.

Part of what helped me shift this mindset was my mentorship program at the beginning. There were 20-plus of us all working toward the same business goal of being an ads manager and all building very similar business models. And my mentor was amazing at reminding us that there are thousands, probably millions, of businesses that need help with digital advertising. More than any one of us could possibly help on our own. There is plenty of business out there for everyone. And if we collaborated and if we worked [00:06:00] together, we could sometimes come up with solutions to problems for our clients that weren't even on our radar before. And that stuck with me, because it's true. There is enough business for all of us. We don't have to fight over scraps at the table.

And let me tell you about one of the first collaborations I made that really shifted how I thought about this. I heard about Sierra and her business, Caravan Content. They're a video production company focused on travel and tourism in the Pacific Northwest. We don't do exactly the same thing, but we both work in marketing, and I saw her business as an opportunity to not only meet a colleague but also use them as an asset to serve my own clients. So I reached out. We met over coffee. We learned about each other and our businesses. She's also local to my area, which made that super easy. And funny enough, we both started our businesses around the same time, so we've been on this journey together. We've faced similar [00:07:00] struggles. We can always relate to each other. And even now, several years later, we still try to get together for coffee dates when we can.

Eventually, I ended up using Caravan Content for a client's local project. They created video content for a paid ads campaign that I was running for the client, and it worked beautifully and seamlessly because we both brought our expertise to the table.

I could have seen Sierra as competition. We both are marketing professionals in the same area. But instead we collaborated, and both of our businesses benefited, and more importantly, my client got better results because we worked together.

I have a similar story with my good friend Alysha Sanford. She's a brand photographer here in Oregon. She also has a podcast called The Messy Mompreneur, and I'd known of her for years. But we had never actually met until she asked me to come on her podcast as a guest to talk about Meta ads I was so excited, by the way. It was like my first real [00:08:00] big gig. And we clicked immediately. We started getting together regularly to talk about business and motherhood. And since then she has become like a business bestie for me. And she was actually the first person I told about this podcast idea, and she, of course, encouraged me to "do it," and I'm so glad I did.

Alysha is someone I can be real with. She doesn't just tell me what I want to hear. She tells me what I need to hear. And that's so important because when you're running a business alone, you need people who will push you a little. Who will call you out when you're overthinking, or you're playing it too small. Who will celebrate your wins and remind you why you started when things get hard. That's what real collaboration looks like. It's not just networking. It's not just referring business to each other. It's actually being there for each other as people.

So, how do you know when someone is the right person to collaborate with? For [00:09:00] me, I honestly just think that you just click. Like you have this alignment on goals, ideas, strategies, and it just works. I think someone who pushes you a little, who doesn't just tell you what you want to hear, but what you actually need to hear, is important. That builds a trust in your relationship where you feel safe to explore things that maybe you'd be too scared to do on your own, or you would just like hold back on.

They give you that little nudge forward. And it's not always about business strategy either. Sometimes, it's just having someone who "gets it". Someone who understands what it's like to make payroll, to deal with difficult clients, to wonder if you're doing this whole thing right. Or even someone who won't judge you for admitting that you are having a bad week and that you're questioning everything, and they just remind you to pick yourself up off the floor and why you started this business. And that kind of support is [00:10:00] invaluable, and you cannot get that if you're treating everyone in your space as competition.

Here is the thing I am an introvert, inherently, and so this whole put yourself out there and find your people thing is absolutely not my favorite thing to do. But it's kind of like dating you --you got to actually show up, and your people will find you. They'll be naturally attracted to what you bring to the table. I've met people through small business groups, through coffee dates, through just reaching out to someone whose work I admire, and it's very uncomfortable at first, especially for me, um, if you're introverted like me. But the alternative is staying isolated, and that's unfortunately not sustainable. You need people who get what you're doing, who understand your unique challenges of running a business, who can relate to the highs and the lows, and those people are out there. You just [00:11:00] have to be willing to reach out.

Collaborating with other professionals hasn't just made me feel less lonely it's actually helped my business. Working with Sierra's team gave me better client results for my clients, because we combined our expertise. Building a friendship with Alysha gave me the confidence to start this podcast, which has opened doors I never expected. And having people I can reach out to when I'm stuck on something that's been invaluable. I've had other marketing professionals help me think through client problems. I've bounced ideas off of people. I've gotten feedback that made my work just better. And none of that would have happened if I'd stayed in the everyone-is-competition mindset.

And beyond the business benefits, I just feel less alone. I have people who understand what I'm going through, who celebrate my wins, who remind me why I'm doing this when I have that bad day, and that's worth more than any amount of revenue.[00:12:00] 

If you are feeling isolated in your business, here's what I want you to do. First, give yourself permission to admit it. Entrepreneurship is a lonely road, and that's not a failure on your part. It's just reality. Second, think about one person you could reach out to. Maybe it's someone in your industry that you really admire. Maybe it's another business owner in your area. Maybe it's someone you've been following online, but you've never actually talked to. Reach out, suggest coffee, ask if they'd be open to a virtual chat. Yes, it's going to be uncomfortable, especially if you're an introvert, but you have to start somewhere. And third, shift your mindset from competition to collaboration. There is enough business for everyone, I promise. And you will be better at what you do when you have people to learn from and to work with. You don't have to do this alone, and you shouldn't.

 Yes, [00:13:00] entrepreneurship is lonely, but it does not have to be as lonely as we make it. The competition mindset keeps us isolated, it keeps us guarding our secrets and our space. And it makes this journey harder than it actually needs to be. But when you open yourself up to collaboration, when you build real relationships with people who get what you're doing, I promise you that it's going to change things. You will feel less alone, your work is going to get better, and you will actually enjoy this journey more.

So, I encourage you to go find your people, reach out, be vulnerable, admit that you don't have it all figured out because none of us really do, and that's okay.

If you want to stay connected, I'd love to have you on my email list. I send two to four emails a month with honest thoughts on marketing, motherhood, and building a business that fits your real life. You can join through the link in the show notes. Thank you [00:14:00] for spending time with me In the EllaMents. Until next time, keep building with intention and give yourself grace as you grow.